This weekend, while perusing Stuff White People Like, that parodic encyclopedia of hegemonic taste, Sir Hudibras came across an article on one David Sedaris (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/26/25-david-sedaris/). He was intrigued by the roast the literary superstar received on the site; could it be true that Sedaris has entrapped the white imagination in his iron, if humorous, grip? Could this unassuming little man possibly command the entranced adoration of anglo-saxon literati and lay-readers alike? Had he turned North America’s light skinned illuminati into little more than dim witted devotees? Could it be true?
“What kind of monster must he be,” Sir Hudibras wondered, “in order to wield that kind of power?”
Luckily, he needn’t wait long to find out. That very weekend, this crown prince of prose was reading from his new book. The reading was to be held in the great castle Indigo, in the kingdom of Eaton, where vast piles of gold and riches accumulate behind shelves of books recommended by the revered Queen Oprah.
Upon entering the great castle Indigo Sir Hudibras found that, as per usual, his quest was doomed before it had even had the chance to begin; Indigo was no less than a gleaming labyrinth of polished wood and velvet ropes. He was hopelessly beguiled.
He did his best to take refuge from the hordes of Sedaris enthusiasts who roamed the labyrinth, attempting to find a seat near the man’s podium (or was it an altar?) only to find himself hustled behind a wire shelf of merchandise. Never one to let a compromised position get him down, however, Sir Hudibras took a seat behind the shelf and found it, surprisingly, an outstanding vantage point.
“What a boon,” he thought, “and if our encounter comes to blows, god forbid, I’m sure these $40 paperweights will make a formidable bludgeon.”
While he still had a moment, Sir Hudibras surveyed the scene. The labyrinth was filled–it was undeniable–with a throng of very very pale people. They stared expectantly, clutching Sedaris’ books, and awaiting his appearance. They were anticipatory, it’s true, but were they enraptured? Were they entranced? Was Sedaris truly a devilish beast who held them in unholy sway? Only time would tell. So Sir Hudibras too, waited for the author to appear.
And so must you wait too, dear reader, for your narrator has run out of both parchment and patience. Will Sedaris turn out to be man, or monster? Will Sir Hudibras reveal himself as man, or mouse? Answers to these questions, and so much more, will come to light in the next harrowing installment of the saga of Sir Hudibras.